CAMO - Connecting All Military Others
Well... It has happened. Matt and I have lost being husband and wife. We both know that we have and that we have to have our own time to get back a balance between being young parents and newlyweds. In May we will be married for one year. He is trying to act as though everything is the same now as it was before we got married. Which, lets face it, everything from now on is flipped. But that doesn't mean that we have to lose what we have, does it?
The biggest thing that really annoys me is that he doesn't understand what it means to be a "single" parent raising Chase. Matt expects me to go about the days like I did before he was born. We would talk late at night and that was fine. Now it is too hard for me to stay up past 10 PM. It is really hard doing this on my own. Sometimes I wish I could just yell at him and tell him that I am going to go to bed because Chase is actually sleeping and I am tired but I don't. He wants me to wake Chase up when he is sleeping. I don't think so, Chase is not at all a happy camper when he is woken up.
Matt, because he is not aware of the things that go into raising a child, wants to go out when he is home and do all of these things. I understand that we should have some time to be husband and wife. I would love to have that time to find ourselves. I am not thinking that it should be as often as he wants. He is thinking 3 or 4 days a week. I am not okay with spending around 50% of a week out while someone else takes care of our son.
I guess the biggest thing that I am worried about is not losing my relationship with Matt, but Chase losing that relationship. Matt has never had his first father figure when he was in high school. I don't want my son to have to do that too. I just don't know if he is going to be too overwhelmed. He left for Afghanistan the day after we found out I was pregnant. He came home for the birth of Chase and left when he was 3 days old. When he gets home there are going to be a lot of things that are different.
So I guess its really: Parent, Missing. Husband and Wife, Check. Well at least in his eyes.