CAMO - Connecting All Military Others
Having a really rough day today. Don't know if it has to do with it being exactly 2 weeks since I last saw him, or that our 10 month anniversary is this Sunday. Or maybe it's my high school graduation next month that he won't be able to attend, or the recent realization that I don't even know what YEAR it will be when I can be with him again.
Whatever it is, there's a heaviness in my chest that only gets heavier when I think about him.
So I sat down and wrote out the things I miss most...
I miss him.
I miss the feel of his rough hands caressing my skin.
I miss his lips on mine.
I miss his breath from his nose running down my back as he kissed my shoulders.
I miss the soft, yet powerful rumble of his voice whispering “I love you” in my ear.
I miss his beautifully heavy head on my chest as he listened to my heart.
I miss the pure smell of him when I buried my face where his neck connects to his shoulders.
I miss him coming up behind me and putting his arms around my waist and the gentle kiss on my neck that always follows.
I miss the feel of his soft blonde hair, managing to be soft no matter how short.
I miss his gorgeous light eyes looking so far in to mine that he probably saw my soul.
I miss listening to his heart, proving to me that he was actually there and not just another dream.
I miss his large fingers between my much smaller ones.
I miss his surprisingly light snore.
I miss the random bursts out in to cadences that always make me laugh.
I miss his fake pout after losing a fake argument.
I miss our childishness as we chased each other around in tickle fights, always ending in the start of an even more childish licking fight.
I miss watching and listening to him and his sister argue about World of Warcraft.
I miss cheering him on as he played Gears of War.
I miss having him here for me to hold, and to be held.
I miss his hand on my knee while he drives.
I miss not missing him.