CAMO - Connecting All Military Others
Smile...a LOT..not just for your spouse/SO, but for your benefit as well. Do your best to hide tears when you get that online chat or call. They already know how stressed you are. They're right there with you. Your pillow will be your best friend...ok check that...the computer was number one...anyway..my pillow was there when I needed a hug and somewhere to cry in private. No news is good news..and I always try to stress this....DON'T TAKE STOCK IN WHAT THE MEDIA SAYS...most of what is said on the news is old hat regurgitated crap...lol...sorry, but it is. Find a handful of others that know exactly what is going on in your life. Mom and Dad are always there, but unless they share military experience, answering their questions will make you crazy. I love this site and wish it had been around for my first deployment with my husband. I survived...you will too..HUGGZZZZ!!!! Oh yeah...almost forgot...when he/she is coming home...you are the ONLY face he/she wants to kiss. sorry mom..lol
stay strong. even if you're upset, keep it to yourself 99% of the time. chances are they do not want to be away from you and are upset as well, but dont make them feel guilty for having to be away... after all, they have no control over it. know that with their job comes mood changes... happy one day and distant the next. they still love and want to be with you... again, the distance is hard on them as well. see each other as much as possible, and think of new ways to keep the fire burning even when you're apart. i recommend skype dates...if you're able to, both of you rent the same movie and watch it together on skype...that what my boyfriend and I do. and ALWAYS remember that its worth the wait and never give up. its not easy, but again, definitely worth it !
stay strong and be supportive. you are stronger than you think. you can get thru anything. yes there will be tough times, but everything will be okay in the end
Expect anything... before I was with him I had no idea how stressful the military life really was, so I would say be understanding of their bad days because some of the things they have to go through tend to make them cranky. :-P
Some of these comments are really helpful my boyfriend just left for boot camp about two weeks ago. We haven't been together long but iv'e never been so happy even some of my friends see it. Then some people do not like my parents who don't seem to understand why I am staying with him since I am so young. Not having a lot of support is one of the most difficult things. People also do not understand they way you feel when they leave it is so hard.
I am actually working on a blog that offers advice/experiences to new military family members and spouses.
---Even when times are tough, keep encouraging your soldier!
Someone just entering into the military lifestyle my advice is, be supportive of everybody on post, remember you are not the only one going through this lifestyle alone. Another would be, follow are military rules, and remember how you present yourself reflects your soldier's rank at all time. Get in with the frg and go to the meetings daily. Help out the other spouses in their time of need.
Stay positive. Pray. Something will always work out.
These comments are SOO helpful! my boyfriend just got deployed about two weeks ago to Afghanistan and I had NO CLUE what to expect! this is his second deployment but our first one together and my first one ever. It's been so hard and I miss him all day everyday. I haven't been able to get in touch with him yet which has been even harder. Some days I don't want to even get out of bed because when I sleep I dream about him and that's the closest I can get. We haven't been dating long only about 2 months but he is my whole world. I support him 100% and I will always have his back. Thank you for all the encouraging words! They help so much! any more advice??